Airport rules

I’ve done a ton of travel these past few years and this is what I’d tell someone who’s flying for the first time.

1. Get TSA pre-check if you fly more than once a year.¹
2. Friend ride > taxi/uber > train (If outside of USA + NYC airports)
3. Before you get to the id check in security shove everything on your person into either a bag or your jacket.
4. For most flights don’t bother downloading things they have free wifi
5. In terms of value free exit row > econ+ and no first if its under two hours
6. Middle seat gets both armrests
7. You’re probably not going to be able to sleep in economy unless you’re small
8. Take a shower a few hours before
9. TSA doesn’t care about your airlines rules. You can put any size bag through and get creative after security.
10. You get what you pay for, but it doesn’t always scale exactly the same. ²
11. If traveling alone in economy, never choose a seat. You might get bumped up to econ+ for free.
12. Under 5 days and no special equipment? Dont check a bag.
13. Accept slippage, things will break and get lost. Don’t get overly attached to things with utilitarian purposes.
14. If you’re running late for your flight and in a line. Just yell for help. More than likely someone will put you to the front.
15. Keep climbing carabiners, really nice ones, on your luggage for clipping things that wont fit in your bags.
16. Pack just under what you think you’ll need.
17. Leave room for tchotchkes.
18. Flights with friends matter more than perfect timing or comfort.
19. Airport lounges are a scam, and frankly petit bourgeois. ³
20. You’re way more likely to die in the car ride to the airport than in the air.
21. if you live in an expensive city, the food in the airport is not that expensive.
22. The inside of a crowded metal tube flying through the air is not the time for asserting your rights, political hot takes, or other strongly held opinions.
23. Whichever airplane designer put the outlets upside down, underneath, and in-between people’s seats needs to be shot. Twice.
24. The outlets on the seats in front of you aren’t able to hold a heavy charging brick.
25. If crossing 3+ hour timezone, start sleeping on the new schedule a few days before.
26. Get drunk in airports. Talk to your seat mates if they’re open to it!
27. All you really need to travel is your clothes, your phone, a wallet, and a backpack. It’s just probably not going to be comfortable.
28. Anyone with the title of “influencer” sucks. Just go do the thing you wanna do and you’ll figure it out.
29. When you get off the plane, you’ll feel a sense of relief. Until you see the customs line. Your journey isn’t over until you hit that bed/couch.
30. You’ll be shocked and appalled at how many other people want to fly to toledo at Tuesday at 2pm.
31. Come to the airport an 1-1 1/2 hours before departure. Enough time you won’t miss your flight 99% of the time but also won’t wait around every time you’re at the airport.
32. if you wanna bring it down to 90% of flights,1/2-1 hour.
33. The TSA app is, shockingly, not bad. ⁴
34. Short hop flights exist in the USA within the west east and middle. Europeans don’t have a monopoly on them.
35. Until active turbulence cancellation becomes a thing, you have to just not be a little bitch.
36. Noise cancelling is worth any price.
37. Christmas +/- 1 week, is double the price for tickets. Buy them early.
38. the only thing that’s impossible to over pack is socks and underwear.
39. Vacationing somewhere with a beach, think Hawaii, means you just need swim trunks and a few t shirts. Cold travel means bulk.
40. Just wear things you can’t pack, Camera, bulky jacket, etc.
41. Working remote from the air isn’t a bad idea. Just try for a seat on the end of the row for extra space to type.
42. 5am flight or earlier? Sleep in the airport, bags are great pillows.
43. GMT watches are really nice for working remote.
44. NEVER rely on proximate location as a way to determine time to get somewhere. Always google map the directions from the airport to where you’re staying to check before booking.
45. Travel with your parents as an adult it’ll make them happy.
46. Pick good takeoff and landing music in advance.
47. Barbell most things. Get the best or get the cheapest that’s tolerable. The middle is just bland disappointment.
48. Always pick more than one media to keep you occupied on long flights. You won’t be able to watch three movies back to back.
49. Airplane mode is a literal joke. If your phone could take down a plane they wouldn’t let you have it on the plane.
50. Dress for the weather you’re going to.
51. You will end up on the runway for an hour+ at the most inconvenient time.
52. Being first on the plane is overrated. It’s the same amount of waiting.